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The Truth About Compatibility Testing By James Houran, Ph.D. | 04-05-2007 http://www.onlinedatingmagazine.com

Personality and compatibility tests they are the latest trend among online dating and relationship sites. Compatibility testing refers to a method of pairing unfamiliar people for long-term, romantic relationships. These pairings of couples from a pool of eligible singles are typically based on some combination of physical and social demographics and personality profiling. This type of compatibility testing and assessment varies from and is arguably more difficult than in-person programs or workshops like PREPARE and ENRICH, which assess existing couples on the critical tasks related to early marital adjustment.

After developing and publishing various forms of compatibility tests and academically reviewing the tests of others, I've established myself as an expert in the field. Indeed, both the dating industry and the academic community recognize my expertise. Unfortunately, I get the impression that many online dating services don't want the consumers to be so informed on the subject. You see, compatibility testing done well is a powerful tool. But, compatibility testing done wrong is a powerful way to hurt your chances for finding lasting love. Let me reiterate compatibility testing done right works for you; compatibility testing done wrong works against you. In this article, I will outline what you need to know in order to answer two important questions:

1) Should you use a compatibility test?

2) How can you tell if a particular compatibility test is legitimate?

Compatibility Testing: Old Wine in New Bottles

It might interest you to know that automated matchmaking is hardly new. In fact, it was alive and kicking well before the antediluvian TV show Law & Order was on the air. Structured or formalized compatibility testing is arguably rooted in or at least inspired by St. Valentine´s Day, which in turn has its origins in ancient Rome. February marked the beginning of spring and a time of purification. Ancient Romans celebrated a fertility festival, Lupercalia, commencing February 15th. Young women practiced the ritual of placing their names in an urn from which bachelors would select the year´s companion. Often these pairings resulted in marriage. Later, in 498 A.D., Pope Gelasius declared February 14th as St. Valentine's Day, and the Roman lottery system frowned upon as an un-Christian practice became outlawed.

Of course, "outlawed" does not mean "obsolete." Cultural anthropologists have well documented the historic practice of arranged marriages across our globe since Roman times. It may sound odd to think of arranged marriages as compatibility testing, but it does make some sense when you think about it. Arranged marriages were about economic security and political solidarity between families. As such, parents were careful to arrange marriages between couples that met certain economic, geographic, and demographic criteria. To their way of thinking, those were the most salient elements for a compatible relationship. Even in contemporary Western cultures where we emphasize love and emotional security over economic security, we still factor in variables such as income and education levels, geography and demographics when we search for and decide on a partner. In an online dating profile, we call this identifying your "personal preferences." So, in a way, today´s computerized matchmaking and compatibility testing is simply a modernized Lupercalia lottery.

It is also interesting to note that Internet companies like eHarmony and PerfectMatch didn't pioneer computer matchmaking. In 1956 Art Linkletter, host of the popular television show People Are Funny, matched a couple using a computer. Time magazine reported, "Remington Rand's Univac No. 21 turned Cupid, brought together a flesh-and-blood couple as scientifically selected 'ideal marriage mates'" (Nov 19, 1956). Time also noted that the couple was paired based on a 32-item questionnaire developed by The Father of American Marriage Counseling, Paul Popenoe, Ph.D. The happy couple became engaged, and Art Linkletter offered to pay the airfare for their Paris honeymoon. Following the Univac No. 21 experiment, the computer dating craze blossomed through the 1970s and 80s, thanks in large part to the research and entrepreneurship of Glenn Wilson, Ph.D., the psychologist I affectionately refer to as The Father of Modern Compatibility Testing.

The recent advent of the Internet and a plethora of online dating services have now radically expanded opportunities for singles to pursue relationships via computerized matchmaking to be sure, one needs only to browse a selection of online dating sites to see collections of "testimonials" from couples who met through these services and are now married. In this sense, computer matchmaking has evolved from an entertainment vehicle to a commercial enterprise that is often being advertised to the public as a health and human service organization operated by relationship and testing experts. Perhaps it is ironic that "compatibility testing" can also be seen as a modern epidemic or obsession of sorts just Google the phrase and you will be overwhelmed by no less than 15,100,00 entries. Googling online compatibility testing" will only slightly relieve the whiplash with a staggering 3,670,000 entries.

Before you blindly throw your money and hope into a compatibility test, let´s try to make sense of this apparent craze. Time to revisit those two important questions!

Should you use a compatibility test?

It sounds like a simple "yes" or "no" question, but it's actually more complex than that. It might surprise you to hear this from me, but, in my view, compatibility tests aren not for everyone. The decision to use one depends on your particular personal goals and even your mental stamina. Online daters should consider six crucial issues to arrive at a decision:

1) Are you looking for a lasting relationship or a one-night stand?

If you're using online dating to find a one-night stand or a long-term fling with no emotional attachment, then a compatibility test is a complete waste of time. However, I highly recommend their use if you're using online dating to seriously cull romantic prospects for those with relationship material.

2) Do you have realistic expectations about compatibility tests?

Nearly everyone loves the concept of a soul mate, but holding out for the perfect partner is not the way to go. Simply put, there is no such thing as the perfect partner. Idealizing a mate is a recipe for headache and heartache and so is the belief that a compatibility test is the answer to your relationship prayers. Compatibility tests are simply tools to help you gain further insight into the temperament, personality, attitudes and behavior of a prospect and how his/her psychological DNA will likely interact with your own. The results of a compatibility test should never be the sole basis for the decisions you make about pursuing a relationship. If you are expecting a compatibility test to do most of the work for you, then walk away from it. However, it can be a good idea if you understand their limitations as well as benefits.

3)Do you honestly have the money to invest in a service with a test?

Let me be extremely bold here good psychological tests and assessments are expensive to create. How expensive? Well, the Illinois State Board of Education, like other states, spends about 5 million dollars per year to update their achievement tests. Most people are shocked by this, but they would have a new appreciation for the academics behind test creation if they knew what the steps were. I will not dare bore you with them now, but sometime check out those procedures in the Standards for Educational and Psychological Testing (AERA, APA, & NCME, 1999/2002, Washington, DC: Author). Therefore, it is completely reasonable for a website to charge a premium for offering a legitimate and good compatibility test (more on those criteria below). If you can't truly afford this premium, then do not invest in a compatibility test right now. Yes, a compatibility test really is an investment of time, money, and continued energy following up on the results. But, it can be a wise investment if you can honestly afford one.

4) Do you have the time and attention to devote to researching the services and making an informed decision?

Most reasonable and educated people do not make a major purchase like an automobile or a house without doing their homework first. Likewise, you should not instantly buy into any given compatibility test without doing some investigation and contemplation. After all, the effects of choosing a potential mate will affect you longer and more deeply than any home or vehicle. Therefore, do not consider a compatibility test unless you are willing to do your due diligence and see what tests are on the market and what each test has going for and against it. Compatibility tests only do part of the work for you; it's then up to you to follow-up on the results in a responsible way. This can be done only if you have a good understanding of the test and feel comfortable with it.

5) Do you have the mental and emotional strength for it?

Compatibility tests are first and foremost personality tests. That is, they are psychological mirrors which can tell you much about who you are, how you tend to behave and what attracts and motivates you. Reading an objective and clinical assessment about oneself can be stirring and wonderful for self awareness and growth. On the other hand, it can also be a frightening and destabilizing experience for someone who is not entirely ready to see themselves and their needs and wants in the sobering and clear light of day. I would avoid compatibility tests if even the sound of "pretty blatant and honest feedback" is threatening to you. Compatibility testing like dating and courtship in general is often a growing experience. Expect growing pains!

6) Do you have the patience for the right outcome?

Related to the notion of realistic expectations is the concept of patience. Many online daters will attest that initial match results from a compatibility test can be disillusioning, if not downright painful. People tend to equate "chemistry" with "compatibility." That is a fair expectation to an extent all modern theories and models of love and attachment do incorporate passion and physical attraction into the compatibility equation. But compatibility is not exclusively synonymous with physical passion there is much more to long-term compatibility than that! The job of a good compatibility test is not to match you to a million, hot singles. It bears repeating: Compatibility tests are simply tools to help you gain further insight into the temperament, personality, attitudes and behavior of a prospect and how his/her psychological DNA will likely interact with your own.