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How Disagreements Can Help a Relationship By Lynne Youdin | 20-06-2007 http://www.sexyadsnews.com

While growing up, I'd always heard that people will argue within their relationship. But I remember thinking at that time that if I found the right person, that not only would we never argue, but that we wouldn't even disagree (because we loved one another so much.). It seemed to me that people who argued really didn't belong together.

Flash forward many years later to adulthood where one learns that even the two-most people-in-love will experience various degrees of individual interpretation over the years and that yes, disagreements will occur. Does this mean that they don't love one another or belong together? Hell, no. It just means that they're human.

I know how hard it is to imagine in the beginnings of a new relationship, when the romance is flowing brightly, to think that any disagreement can occur when the love is shining so brightly.

Putting the fairy tale image of love aside, it is a truism that no matter how seemingly perfect any romantic relationship is, there will always be times when the two of you will disagree. How can conflicts not occur when you and your partner are each separate individuals? You existed with your own mind and your own thoughts and your own feelings and your own emotions and your own interpretations before your relationship(s) and you'll exist after them. I don't know why we forget that sometimes but we do. But that's another topic.

At some point in time, every couple has to face that no matter how deeply in love they may be, conflicts are going to arise. The interesting thing here though, is that they don't have to blow into problems. Conflicts can be wonderful opportunities to get to know your partner on a deeper level more than you ever thought possible, while expanding your interpretation of one another. Respect can actually grow then and once you have that, your relationship can only strengthen. And who wouldn't want their relationship with their partner to strengthen?

What's important is to learn what the crux of the conflict is and not get distracted along the way and bring more conflict to the original one. It's not uncommon for many couples to start fighting over one thing and bring little nuances into the argument that stretch and expand into bigger ones. Suddenly the source of what the disagreement was has now been lost and it's harder for one another to lay aside their defenses and take the time out to listen to the other. Wounded pride and ego go a long way in creating obstacles.

I know from personal experience how hard it is to listen to another person when you feel that they have been unjust, unfair, an incredible jerk or a total asshole. But someone has to start the process of resolution, and that can only be done if someone is willing to be willing to put aside their own feelings-just for the moment and not indefinitely-and listen carefully to the other. Why not you?