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How to Make Sure You Meet the Right People By Clive West | 31-08-2008 http://ezinearticles.com/

Dating success can depend on how you handle the concept of meeting new people. Yes, you can adopt the 'happy-go-lucky' approach and let serendipity play its hand or you can be pro-active and try to make sure that you don't go on a date with someone who is clearly not for you. Let Hollywood handle the impossible romance stories; real life does not work that way and there is no point wasting dating time meeting unviable partners.

Always remember that dating is just a numbers game. The fact that you are rejected or you reject someone is no reflection on either party. It is just a mature attitude - don't get attached to an unsuitable partner.

Here are five screening tips for increasing the probability that dating will work for you.

Identify 'musts' and 'must nots'

Make a list of characteristics like smoking, age. regular party-going, education, marital status which you consider to be non-negotiable. For example, I suffer from a bronchial problem which is exacerbated by smoking. What point is there in me dating a smoker? Refuse to meet anyone who fails to meet all of your conditions in this category.

Identify serious preferences

This is slightly tougher but it might include the type of work someone does, the hours they work, their location, hobbies or interests. When talking to a potential date, cover these things and avoid meeting anyone who doesn't coincide with at least a few of your requirements.

Identify other preferences

List out 'general' preferences like colour of hair, dress sense, build etc. Be prepared to sacrifice most, if not all of your choices in this category as it is superficial. The only reason for including this screen is to keep preconceived ideas from contaminating the other two screens.

Get the date talking

Have a pre-prepared topic (or two) to talk about and, having introduced it, let the other person do the talking. If you are met with stony silence, then this is the person you would be meeting - do you still want to go through with it?

A sense of humour is everything

Make a non-threatening joke or light-hearted comment. Apart from putting the other person at ease this simple act will tell you more about him or her than all of your other questions put together. When I first spoke to my wife-to-be whom I met through a dating agency, I closed with the comment, "Be good and I'll see you on Tuesday. If you can't be good, call me and I'll be straight over." She laughed. I can think of others who would have taken me too seriously and responded with an, "I beg your pardon" or, worse, "You'll do no such thing".

It's back to that numbers game again. You can easily waste time and get discouraged by meeting inappropriate people so analyse your needs and stick to your guns - you'll find your ideal partner and romance will bloom.

If your search for your ideal partner is a bit protracted like mine was, you will very quickly come to realise that a sense of humour beats all other requirements when dating.

Clive West has been married for 18 years to his wife, Damaris, whom he met through a dating agency. During that time they set up and ran a business together and have now retired and moved to Central Italy. You can get more free information about dating and helpful guides about relationships on their websites.

Author: Clive West

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